Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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