the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
