More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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