Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
