Little spoons don't ask big questions
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
