Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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