spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
