and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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