My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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