Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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