Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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