whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
