brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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