How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
