Hey man sorry I got all grabby
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
it's like iHOP with fire
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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