omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
