They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
