I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
