I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
