Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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