Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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