Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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