so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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