That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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