I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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