Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I will die if light touches me.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize