All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
