she was so not down for the gang bang
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
