she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
