I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
