I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
