I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
