Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
