So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
