I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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