i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
organizing the empties. That sober.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
