so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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