I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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