So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
