Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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