guys are only as good as the porn they watch
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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