So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm at about main and main street
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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