If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize