i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i barfeds in our rink
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she told me i tasted like america
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
