hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
