At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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