i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
