its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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