That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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