theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
