I saw his package. It spoke to me.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
there is glitter all over my balls
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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