either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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