the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
