it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
