finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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