I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
