we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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