nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
