4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
