That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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