No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Everything about him screamed your future.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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