There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
