She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
