I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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