all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
