uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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