I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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