Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
