I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
