No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
