So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
